What You See is What You Get….Or is it?

​Many years ago on television there was a comedian named Flip Wilson who had a variety show. He dressed flashy and talked like a very sassy and naughty woman of the night named Geraldine.  Her confident character and direct language were brassy and full of mischief and her favorite saying as she placed one hand on her tilted hip and the other hand holding her purse slung back behind her shoulder, throwing her head back while a mange of curled hair tussled on her shoulders, was “What you see is what you get!”  Television viewers laughed and borrowed Geraldine’s slogan and in my youth I thought that was the truth about people. I thought, “What you see is what you get!”

After having been in the beauty industry for decades, I am acutely aware of the time and money spent on erasing, adding, injecting, and even permanently removing what we think needs to be changed to give us that “what you see is what you get” look. Therefore, many times we are not who we appear to be and what we see is but a small glimpse of the self that is not visible to the eye.

Not to say that I don’t approve and appreciate the process of “beautifying” oneself, because I do. Besides I believe that as humans, we take pleasure in the transformation of personal improvement. We love seeing beauty and we love feeling beautiful. Unfortunately, often when we look at ourselves in our mirror we think that is who we are, and we begin to live our lives from that perspective, ignoring the rest of ourselves….the inner beautiful and powerful self. 
According to the newest personal growth research, what really sustains our health and happiness, gives us hope and confidence, and establishes long-term remarkable and beautiful lives, is not only what we accomplish and become outwardly, but what we learn and anchor within ourselves. Ideally, growing ourselves from the inside out and finding pleasure in what we see ourselves being, keeps us living beautiful lives.

The Confidence Effect by Grace Killelia, a consultant and sought-after speaker on leadership, personal branding, and personal development, writes that growth comes from within and from tapping into the core of our personal confidence. “So, what does it mean to possess The Confidence Effect? It means confidence to the core—the place where we’re the most powerful, the most authentic, the most self-reliant, and the most connected to our skills and abilities.” Although I do believe that our outer beauty is worth attending to, here again is a call to discover what lives within our persona and inner beauty. She goes on to write; “I like the idea of the core as it relates to confidence for women, in particular, because that is where we house our strength and power—where we find our voice. And by strengthening our confidence and connecting it to our competence, we can become more powerful in our organizations and in our lives.”

Last month I attended a day-long workshop: The Art & Practice of Increasing Self-Confidence, presented by Victoria Trafton, the Confidence Coach. A group of seventeen women spent the day together sharing and taking in the wisdom that Victoria has spent over forty years cultivating, deciphering, and ultimately creating a powerful and candid one day seminar. Her background as a Silicon Valley executive for over three decades where she reached the top 3% of women income earners early on in her career, and later became an entrepreneur as a successful franchise owner and master trainer provided her the experience, substance and vision for teaching women to thrive through refining their confidence. With her direction and an online assessment tool that the participants took ahead of time, we each acquired a deeper understanding of our own character style and the style of others to strengthen our effectiveness in communication. From that foundation of awareness and understanding ourselves better, we can begin to truly listen to the inner voice that is either directing us forward or holding us back. Identifying our character strengths, behavioral styles and our uniqueness in approaching any situation added a knowledge base advantage for moving forward more effectively. As Victoria expounded, “Confidence is a belief in your ability to do something. Total self-confidence is belief in yourself.” My personal take-away for the day was that confidence will come to those who know themselves and only through education and self-reflection will we discover more of ourselves. Eventually we become what we know. The more we know, the more we become.

As September ushers in the cooler weather, the beauty of the holidays and busier lives, I’m reminded of the splendor that surrounds us and of the remarkable lives we are capable of living. So much of our world is perfectly balanced and always expressing itself in stunning ways and what we see is certainly what we are getting.  And that is a very good thing. But it takes confidence in ourselves and in others and especially in an impartial Universe that is always giving us what we desire to see.

Here is what Helen Keller, who could not see or hear said about beauty and living a remarkable life:
“I who am blind can give one hint to those who see—one admonition to those who would make full use of the gift of sight: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. Make the most of every sense; glory in all the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to you through the several means of contact that Nature provides”.

Lastly, from Grace Killelia, The Confidence Effect, “And remember, confidence is not a magical notion or idea that only the chosen few possess. It is for you too—you just have to tap into it and make it your own!”

And then…what you see is who you will be! 

Hilda