The Gift of Life ... Choices

My baby sister Connie was born a raving beauty. Her large dark brown eyes, full heart-shaped lips, dimples, and small up-turned nose made for a spectacular face. As she matured, she was tall and slender with narrow hips and ample breasts, she was more than attractive. As the youngest child of four siblings, she was only 18 months younger than I. I am the middle child between her and my older sister and our brother is the oldest. 
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When we were very young still holding hands with our mother while out walking, women and men alike would stop us and while staring at Connie would remark to our mother what an exceptionally beautiful child she was.  Maggie, my older sister and I, accustomed to the comments, would simply step aside and let her revel in the compliments. 

Adulation came to Connie from every direction, including our parents. Our mother, exhausted from giving birth to four children in less than six years, was too tired to discipline her as she developed a strong rebellious spirit. Connie would dismiss any behavior correction with a sweet smile and mom caved in and gave up. Our father was taken by her beauty as well and fortified her defiant nature which he found endearing. 
By the age of fourteen Connie was an unstoppable, independent young lady resisting authority. Beautiful as ever, she made her own choices for her future without regarding any warnings or advice from anyone.  

Most of her choices were dangerous and physically irreversible for the next fifty-five years. Her life was an adventure of highs and an insatiable pursuit for happiness. In her pursuit for happiness, Connie was fun, energetic, bright, creative, sexy and colorful. She ENJOYED life to the fullest. My Baby sister Connie passed away on November 2nd, a month ago. She was sixty-nine years young. 

Although we are a close family, I confess I did not spend much time with Connie. Our paths and personalities were as different as night and day. I loved her with all my heart because she is my sister. We shared the love of our parents and siblings and a childhood that thrust us together in a storm of fierce dependency until we left home; both at an early age. Did it hurt to love her? Yes. Will I miss her presence? Yes. Am I angry at her? Yes. And will I finally accept that each one of us makes our choices for our daily lives, our future and ultimately, we get what we choose. 

Looking back, as a family we denied, felt isolated, angry, we bargained and now we accept. We have grieved all along the way…. anticipating this day.  With grateful hearts, we release her to the next adventure of her Spiritual Life.  Look out heaven, here she comes. There will be a party! 

And speaking of parties, on March 6, of next year, we will celebrate her 70th birthday, her life and the effect she had on each one of us. It will be a celebration for a woman who lived life her way. 

Each one of us has the gift of life and choices. The choices we make along the way are the memories we will leave for others to remember us. Choose wisely. 

Wishing all of you and your families a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

With love,
Hilda