Enough Already? ... Yes You Are

Our fourth offering in the living brave series of books,  Living Brave…Finishing Strong,  is scheduled for publication in the Spring of 2020. We have crafted six questions to be answered by thirty-plus women who share their stories of living brave lives. Although we have identified these women as brave, not one has claimed being courageous; they were just doing what they had to do next to get through life circumstances. Yet, when the question is asked,  “What fears come up for you and how do you manage them,” every woman writes that she has fears and self-doubts, yet they manage to get through and are finishing strong.                    

After years of personal life experiences, research and interviews for our books, Mary Beth and I know this for sure: all people have fears and self-doubts and it takes making courageous choices, to become the person you want to become. It takes living bravely to finish strong.
                       
According to Rich Karlgaard in his ground breaking book,  Late Bloomers, The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement,  self-doubt is a super power. He goes on to write, “All healthy people have self-doubt. It’s a universal trait that people in all walks of life experience. From an evolutionary viewpoint, self-doubt is actually useful.” After all, he states, self-doubt is a source of information and motivation; it combats complacency and improves preparation and performance. Besides, it opens one up to alternate ways to solve problems, curiosity and resilience.
                             
Another book written over thirty years ago,  Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway , by Dr. Susan Jeffers, also positions fear as healthy for the evolution and growth of a person. The book is dynamic and inspirational, filled with concrete techniques and exercises to turn passivity into assertiveness and to reeducate the mind to think more positively and reframe fear as a power, useful for unraveling difficulties and promoting resilience. Afterall, healthy people have fears.

Then there is the question of being enough. Of course, it is a fear, self-doubt-based reaction, one that has not yet received the memo that healthy people have fears, self-doubt and at times feelings of not being enough. In her book,  Enough Already! Yes you are,  Elizabeth Trinkaus writes, “When I was growing up, I had an abundance of thoughts that screamed, ‘I am not enough’ and a shortage of tools to help me to know and feel differently. With the help of great coaches and a strong dedication to change, I applied the necessary tools to shift my life from the debilitating critic (‘Doubting Dotty’) to the manifesting encourager (‘Believing Betty’). This practice has enabled me and thousands of my clients to not only dream big but also to manifest those dreams.”

I appreciate Elizabeth Trinkaus’ introduction to Doubting Dotty and Believing Betty. The choice is always ours; we doubt for too long or we believe with the heart of curiosity.…. need I say more?

Healthy people have fears, self-doubt and want to be enough. The journey of becoming who we are to become, the best version of ourselves is up to us. We choose moment to moment, from thought to thought.
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Mary Beth and I are excited writing our fourth in the series of Living Brave books…Stories that Inspire. We have also come to know this for sure: each one of us has a significant story to tell.  

“The most important story we’ll ever write in life is our own—not with ink but with our choices.”  Richard Paul Evans