Recently I came across the newest data on longevity. Who lives longer? What factors effect longevity? The most interesting research I found on longevity came from Julianne Holt-Lunstad a BYU professor of Psychology. Here is a snippet of her research interests: “There is now robust evidence of the protective effects of social relationships both on morbidity and on mortality, with a magnitude of effect comparable with many well-established risk factors such as smoking cessation and obesity. My program of research examines the influence of both the quantity and the quality of social relationships on long-term health and on risk for mortality, and the biological pathways (e.g., cardiovascular, neuroendocrine, genetic) by which such associations may occur. I also consider the potentially detrimental influence of negativity in close relationships (e.g., ambivalence, marital distress). My studies have examined social relationships at a network level, among married couples, in mother-and-infant relationships, and within friendships.” 

I must confess as optimistic as I am about life in general and the future of our world, these past months have been a bit challenging keeping the light of hope alive daily.
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Each morning I review my gratitude list and add a few more for good measure. Some days I had to stretch a bit until I found that ray of hope on which to build. 
Then, one morning, after skyping with my son and grandson Finn, I realized I was looking too hard and in all the wrong places. Hope is everywhere around us. It is especially in the young ones who surround us. 

Who are the Baby boomers: They are the demographic cohort following the Silent Generation and preceding Generation X. The generation is most often defined as individuals born between 1946 and 1964, during the post-World War II baby boom. The boom has been described as “shockwave” and as “the pig in the python”, in particular, 76 million Americans were born during this timeframe.  The term “the pig in the python” refers to a sharp statistical increase represented as a bulge in an otherwise level pattern, used especially with reference to the baby-boom generation regarded as having a profound effect on consumer spending, society, etc. as they grow older. No matter who you are, what you do, or where you live in the world, your life has been touched by the inventive, smart and risk-taking cleverness of the baby boomers.

I love celebrating the 4th  of July. Not only is it the anniversary of America's independence, it’s also a reminder for people of their infinite desire for freedom! Freedom of speech, to gather, to worship, etc. etc. We are indeed a country of freedoms.
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That is who we are in America; a gathering of people who demand their independence. Our ancestors, no matter what continent they came from, expected to find freedoms to support their greatest dreams and desires. Certainly, my parents, coming from Mexico expected to have the freedom America promised; to live in a country of opportunities. To work hard and to prosper and live in a democratic society of honest rules and principles and a constitution that would protect their rights. 

My son Ron is a special man. He is by no means perfect. Both his wife and I certainly know his shortcomings and overly sensitive, creative, quick to react nature. We know when he is in a sensitive tenor and we notice when he is loving us with all his protective heart. Passionate, as an artist and loyal to his word, he is serious about being a thoughtful husband, a good friend and an exceptional father. 

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
African Proverb                                             

Six months ago, we celebrated my 50th anniversary in the beauty industry. I throw the number ‘50’ around as if it was just a number. The truth is, it’s a life-time of building ‘together’. 
And the best way to appreciate what we have is to have it taken away. Whether losing a job or a loved one, planned events canceled, church services suspended, or unable to grocery shop, most of us depend on others to experience our satisfying lives. The liberty to unite, travel and congregate is a birth right, at least in most countries, especially the United States, where we were founded on the principles of freedom. People find each other and form relations big and small, as varied as book clubs, meetups, AA Meetings, hiking groups and bible studies. There is no question about it, we need each other to survive, grow and flourish.

​My nature is optimistic. Like everyone, not all goes my way every time. Yet, not only do I push through, I dig deeper within myself to rediscover my strength of hope and reconnect with my friend, confidence. This is something I have worked long and hard to develop over the years of bouncing back and regaining my footing when things go sideways or down a slippery slope.

Hope is the word and emotion that comes to me when I think of waiting. Afterall, we are always waiting and hoping things will work out; someone will change, new doors will open, problems will be resolved and the list of hopeful waiting is as long as our optimistic thoughts of eventually arriving at the perfect outcome. 

Perhaps we become what we love. 

In her book, Find your Courage, 12 Acts for Becoming Fearless at Work and in Life, Margie Warrell writes, "Love, what a mighty word. What a daunting task to find words to wrap around it. Yet love is the essence of what it means to live with an open heart; indeed, love is the essence of what it is to be a human being. Without love, we are shells living vacant lives in a hostile and barren world. But love goes far beyond the edict of ‘love they neighbor as thyself'; how can we ever truly open our heart to one another if we are afraid to first open it to our self.” She goes on to write, "Without hearts open to love, our spirits are closed to life."

We are built to love. Biologically, emotionally, culturally, and spiritually, our existence depends on love to attract us and keep us together. No one goes through life without experiencing disappointments and painful consequences in relationships but, eventually, we can allow ourselves to forgive and love again. Cultivating connections and relationships is natural and, ultimately, we all want to love and be loved. We have come to know, as Helen Keller wrote, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” 

So here it is! We become the story we tell ourselves and become what we love. If it is natural to love, why do we have to be brave to love? In the introduction to our latest book, Living Brave. . . Finishing Strong, Stories of Women Becoming, I wrote, “At the foundation of a person’s life are two questions: who are you and what do you want? Of course, the answers will change many times over. It’s the ongoing cycle of life. All the while, day by day, thought by thought, and choice by choice, we are in the process of continually becoming who we are and getting what we want, until the next level of desire meets up with us. We are created to want and desire more.  It’s who we are as humans. Desires lead the way as we persist in becoming, evolving, and expanding ourselves as we yearn for more of what we want. Mostly, and naturally, we desire to know more.
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"Change! Some love it and others fear it. Most protest and eventually accept its outcome. However, change is constant and touches every area of our lives. Our desires will progress through the four quarters of our lives, and who we are and what we want becomes an endless process of discovery, dreaming, transitioning, and contributing. We can form meaningful relationships, expand our thinking to cooperate with changes, support others along their paths, and we can be a positive influence in our communities.  Most importantly, we need to be brave to allow the process of change to direct and grow us individually into our next best self.”

On this month of celebrating Valentines Day, let yourself love all you want. Keep on loving and enjoy the love that comes your way. Whether through acts of kindness, forgiveness, volunteering, holding hands, giving flowers, girls' night out, a box of candy, or simply saying, "I love you" - and mean it. Fill the world with your love. 

Will you be my valentine?

I love you,

Hilda 

• Seek joy
• Stay Curious 
• Stop Complaining
• Release the weight 
• Court creativity 
• Laugh everyday 
• Earn your self-love
• Say thank you and mean it
• Talk nice to yourself…it’s the longest verbal relationship you will have 
• Perfection is not a virtue or a badge of honor, it’s fear wearing high heels….give it a rest
• Love the one you’re with, no one lives forever
• Stop searching for your passion, its’ already found you
• Believe deeply in something or you will fall for anything 
• Find something every day to appreciate
• Say I love you and really mean it 
• Be the gift you want to receive 
• Unburden yourself from worry
• Say yes as often as possible to opened doors 
• Fear less, live more, cultivate courage 
• Simplify, organize, get more accomplished
• Reality check…be honest 
• Who are you and what do you want now
• Better a trickster, than a martyr be
• Live brave…finish strong

Choose a couple of the above strategies. Commit to exploring and expanding them into your new year. No one loses for trying, only for not. Take 2020 as if your life depends on it. It does!