Alchemy is defined as the process of taking something ordinary and turning it into something extraordinary, sometimes in a way that cannot be explained. 

Years ago, in my thirties, while attending a seven-day intensive workshop led by the late Dr. Sidney Simon, Professor Emeritus from the University of Massachusetts (an authority in the areas of values clarification and self-esteem), I learned a secret about the alchemy of becoming.                                               

Like most people, I have made mistakes in my life and I have made some good choices as well. On this my 50th anniversary of having made a very good choice by entering the beauty industry at the age of 18, I will only share what has brought me joy and has given me the confidence to say: I am finishing strong! Although I can assure you, I am not yet finished. 

Our fourth offering in the living brave series of books,  Living Brave…Finishing Strong,  is scheduled for publication in the Spring of 2020. We have crafted six questions to be answered by thirty-plus women who share their stories of living brave lives. Although we have identified these women as brave, not one has claimed being courageous; they were just doing what they had to do next to get through life circumstances. Yet, when the question is asked,  “What fears come up for you and how do you manage them,” every woman writes that she has fears and self-doubts, yet they manage to get through and are finishing strong.                    

​In our first book, Living Brave, Women, Stories and Pathways to Thriving , Mary Beth and I asked twelve women to write how they nurture their inner garden of wellbeing. We found we don’t seem to care for or nurture ourselves in our young years, but eventually as we mature, we arrive to an awakening and desire to care for ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually. I am certainly feeling the call for self-nurturing at this time in life.

This July I am thanking my father for teaching me to appreciate and respect the freedoms we have in this country. There are many things my father didn’t do well, and that is all behind me and my siblings. As years have passed, we have sifted through our childhood and have come to reconcile his shortcomings, we unanimously agree, our father was a true patriot.

​Dionicio Villaverde was born in 1926 in Mesa, Arizona to a Yaqui Indian woman from Mexico working the melon fields. His father Cliofas Villaverde, a Mayan Indian, also from Mexico worked the railroad. At the age of six, his parents moved back to Mexico where he grew up until the age of twenty when he relocated to Ajo, Arizona as a laborer in an open-pit copper mine for the next 42 years. I do not use the word ‘laborer’ lightly. Standing at five feet, two inches tall, working manual labor during day and night shifts, no matter the circumstances, time or weather conditions, he was committed to earning his stay in this country. He also worked a second job on weekends as a musician and singer to earn extra money. Reciting the words from President John F. Kennedy, my father would often paraphrase, in his broken English: Don’t ask what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. He paid taxes, voted at every election and learned to read and write English. Without a doubt, Dionicio loved the United States. His gratitude to have been born a citizen was a sign for him of a lucky man.

​This past month I had a bit of a health scare. Leaving the doctor's office with the first flush of uncomfortable news, I though of how much I did not want to be alone. I knew I would reach out to share my bumpy news with someone who would understand how I was feeling. In the midst of thinking of the importance of connecting, I felt fortunate to have friends. My entire life, I have had the good fortune of being surrounded by people who care about me. Okay…the fact that I’m their hairdresser has certainly added to my value in our relationship. Nevertheless, I thought of the significance of friendships.  

“There is no tomorrow, only a string of todays.” 
-Mark Nepo,  The Book of Awakening 

For those who dread another birthday, I’d like to offer instead a conciliation of reflections of stringing together todays.  Take time and think of several memories during the past year of becoming one year older and recall the story surrounding it. After all, every life is a sequence of stories of todays. Please indulge me on this my birthday month while I share a few of my heart-felt memories of ‘todays’ wrapped in the magic of remembering the past year. 

I find it challenging to always remember that things work out. One moment I can feel as if I’m in complete control of my life; writing gratitude lists, making plans, living brave, wearing my confident clothes and extra make- up and brighter lipstick with certainty that no matter what comes my way, I can handle it. And in an instant, as I’m cruising along the freeway of self-confidence, something unexpected hits my windshield and POW!  I go into a tail spin of uncertainly. This POW could be physical distress or an unexpected emotional event of a significant nature or anything in-between the highway of life.  Never-the-less, the shift from “go” to “yield” can come about quickly. The thoughts of doubt permeate and getting back on track can become an arduous shift.

As a writer, I depend on information. As a business owner and manager, I appreciate systems, and as a stylist, I welcome education.  Every year Eufora International, our preferred product line of hair care and color in our salon, produces a conference guaranteed to inform, teach systems and educate. Twenty years ago, the product line and the concept of educating the stylist to educate the client came into my salon life. Their products and technical advanced trainings in cutting, color formulation, and styling are designed to continually spring us ahead into our profession and to assist us in giving the clients informed options of using organically based products. 

​Two years ago, Mary Beth and I wrote and published Living Brave…In Love, Stories of Intimacy Lost & Found. It is a collection of heart-felt tales of how people come to fall in love and for a variety of reasons become unfastened from the love they thought was secure.  As the stories develop and unfold each person eventually finds their way back to falling in love again. Not always in a romantic partnership, love shows up again and blossoms from the seeds we were born to grow, and mature into loving connections yet again. Love cannot be stopped from being part of who we are as a species and love is how we keep the human race blooming. After all, according to Dr. Amy Banks, author and love researcher in the neuroscience of relationships, our brain is naturally wired to have genuine connections with others.