Good Friends

In my continual search for interesting ideas, I explore classes, books, movies, documentaries, podcasts, politics, and presentations, including talks at church. 

For the month of December, our church pastors explored the subject of ‘Good Friends’, the friends that shape you, the friends that shape your future, and how friendships start with taking initiative and why being present matters most. 
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Here are a few initial aspects I’ve gathered from the weekly presentations. The quality of friends you have reveals the kind of friend you are.

Which are the four most popular TV shows on friendship of our lifetime?
Mash came in at # 1 - an American war comedy drama television series based on the Korean War aired from September 1972 to February 1983
Cheers, at # 2 – a show about nothing but good friends based in a Boston bar where locals gathered aired for eleven seasons from September 1982 to Mary 1993.
Coming in at # 3 Seinfeld started with a pilot episode July 1989 and launched as a regular series in May 1990 to 1998 about the continuing misadventures of neurotic New York City stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his equally phobic New York City friends. 
Friends came in at # 4 from September 1994 to May 2004. An American sitcom becoming a cultural phenomenon about six young adults in New York City, known for its relatable characters and memorable storylines.

According to research on friendships, in the 1990s, most people had six friends they could count on. Currently, most say they have three friends. Defining friends are those you trust to be there for you, to take care of your children or animals when you become ill or travel, to share meals with and to trust fully. Why is it important to have friends? Psychologists say for every new friend you make; your physical health improves and so does your emotional well-being. And as we now know, humans thrive in community. 

​Where is the most common place people make friends? School. The problem is most of us are no longer in school. The number two place would be church. What is the most important action you can take to make a new friend? According to psychologists, take the initiative to invite them into your life, and perhaps go back to school and take classes or join a church. 

Unfortunately, most of us are too busy to initiate new friendships. Yet, this is what it takes for healthier happier lives. There are times when we will have to sacrifice our time and ego and instead remember that we is much greater than me. And in the long run, being together is better than being alone. 
What do the above most popular sitcoms have in common? Working out challenges together. We may have enjoyed watching the lives of others, in their celebrations and challenges, there were always challenges in the sitcoms, and we could certainly relate, but in the end, they were together, for each other. We must create our own friendship lives, and we don’t have to move to New York, or hang out in a bar or be a veteran of a war. But it is highly advised to be fully present to be a friend….it matters. Not that sending a heart, praying hands, smiling face or flowers in a text isn’t nice, showing up in person is what matters most. 

Here is another principle of friendship: in five years, you will be the average of your five closest friends. Look around and see your friends. If you need new friends to take you to places you can’t go on your own, you are going to have to take the initiative. After all, greatness begets greatness and currently there is a great need for connection and community.
Wishing you a Happy Valentines Day my friends,
Hilda